Ich Bin Ein Berliner

The first thing I noticed upon arriving in Germany was how big the people are. Not only big but huge! Very tall and very fat and no wonder, they eat constantly. Not that I have anything against fat people, I happily consider myself to be one, but it was a definite (and pleasant) change from the short, skinny French who eat half a sandwich and claim to be stuffed.

The French claim to love their food and eat a lot but that's rubbish. I was at a restaurant the other day and the girl next to me was telling her friend how large her meal was and that she couldn't possibly take another bite. All this after having eaten 4 tiny falafel balls and half a pita bread.

In Cologne, and I imagine most of Germany, bakeries seem to be the place to be. From morning until night, there is a queue out the door and tables inside with people happily munching away. Every morning the bakeries were full of wall to wall Berliners (doughnuts), massive loaves of bread (for less the 2 euros), and huge slices of fresh, creamy cakes. Plus there were a few sandwiches and pretzels thrown in. By around 7pm, the bakeries had no food left. None at all! I was shocked.

Every second person walking down the street was eating something so it looks like eating it Germany's favourite past time. Ferbent loves to eat too and loved Cologne. I enjoyed Cologne but hate Ferbent as he eats like I've never seen anyone eat and remains slim.

Of course I had to do as the Germans do, when in Rome Cologne and all, so for breakfast I would have a small salad sandwich in Turkish bread (thanks no doubt to the many Turkish immigrants in Germany). Mid morning was time for a Berliner. Lunch was a huge cone thing packed with hot chips topped with tzatziki (Cologne is so multicultural) from one of the shops who sell nothing but chips (my kind of place). After noon tea was cake time. By dinner time I was pretty stuffed so didn't eat too much. That was pretty much my diet during the 6 days I spent in Cologne. Yeah, healthy, I know. Surprisingly, I lost almost 2 kilos while there but no doubt if I lived there long term I'd probably double in size and have a heart attack.

"Ich bin ein Berliner" is the famous quote by John F Kennedy which translates to "I am a doughnut". Every time I saw the Berliners I thought of that and laughed. However, as it turns out, in Berlin, jam doughnuts are not known as Berliners and so he was right to say Ich bin ein Berliner but it makes me laugh anyway.